. itS aLL about me3 .

Feb 2, 2004

i cannot sleep i cannot dream tonight *

Today the sky`s alot bluer

and the sun is shining brightly.

i see the clouds are m o v i n g

& in my mind i see your face

just ^{thinking of you .. brings a smile}

just _{being with you .. makes my day}

the birds are chirping .. i feel as if

nothing can bring me down .. everything`s perfect

too perfect.. maybe .. but i am not gonna think that way

because i love you.

i have no obstacles to overcome; no barriers blocking my way

looking in your eyes is the only thing i need to do ..

you smiling at me makes me laugh

i`ve never been this happy

it feels so good

these emotions i have .. are new

i`m willing to put our past aside

and start over fresh

because baby .. i`m ready this time

im ready for your worst .. & im looking forward to ur best <3

i lie on the grass looking at the night sky
every star that passes my eye
reminds me of you ..
i lay there .. stunned & speechless.. thinkin of our memories..
laughing at absolutely nothing and smiling from ear to ear
hoping ur out there somewhere looking at the same stars
and thinkin of me too ..

i know it may be wrong
and i will regret this
but im taking u back
u say u wont hurt me this time
i hope .. i rlly do .. i cnt stop thinkin of u
ur all i want .. plz... dont hurt me..
ur tha only one ive ever loved ..

I hate it because no one understands how i feel
no one knows what uve done to me
i cant take it bc its like ..
no matter wut u do to me .. im jus gnna always end up in ur arms again
ur the only one for me
you know its true too..
i wish it cood jus be u n me forever.. no hate .. no lies .. jus perfect..
but im not perfect.. & i never will be*

youre the one i want ..
youre the only one i truly need..
if it wusnt for u .. maybe half my tears woodnt b cried ..
but i must say .. ur worth every tear ..
every moment of pain ..
every cry ..
every bit of anger..
every scream from my lungs ..
youre worth it all .. & im glad i have u

Where are you
And im so sorry
I cannot sleep, i cannot dream tonight
i need somebody and always,
this sick strange d a r k n e s s
comes creeping on so haunting everytime
and as i stared i counted
the webs from all the spiders
catching things, and eating their insides
like indicesion to call you
and hear your voice of treason
will you come home and stop this pain tonight, stop this pain tonight

Dont waste your time on me you're already the voice inside my head*

Posted at 05:05 pm by withxyou
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Jan 21, 2004

i think you're truly something special

i`m still sick .. but i hadto go to my concert tonite neway .. im so tired & i feel lyk shyt .. i missed this whole week of school haha ..

i haven`t seen you in so long it feels like f o r e v e r
so i don`t know how i feel about you a n y m o r e ..
i don`t know how i`d feel if you walked in thru the door

i don`t know if i`d smile .. if i`d cry .. or if i simply wouldnt care
tho i`m hearing rumors about you .. i jus don`t seem to care
i don`t no why i don`t .. i mean .. shouldn`t i ? doeS this mean i`m over you ?
i hope it dus.. bc it hurts loving u.. it hurts carin what u think .. it hurts me
and i jus want to move on with my life �3

see my days are c o l d * without youu
but im  h u r t i n g while i`m with you
& though my heart can`t take no more
i keep on r.u.n.n.i.n.g. back to you ...
~> Ashanti

_________________________________________
all i hear is raindrops .. fallin on the rooftop
ooH baby tell me why`d you have to go ...
cuz this pain i feel it won`t go away... &
today .. im o. f. f. i. c. i. a. l. l. y. missin u

I've been I've been drowning in my own tears
Wasting time r u n n i n g from my fears. . .
When all the while you've been right  h e r e *
W a i t i n g on me in my own   t e a r s
Wasting time running from my fears
When all the while you've been right here
Waiting on me . . . *

If you could see the way I live my life
If you could see the way I cry at night
If you could understand the reasons why
That I'm loving you still...
If you could hear me when I call your name
You gotta know it's driving me insane
You know I'll never ever love again
'Cause I'm loving you still

i think you're truly something special
juSs what my dreams are really made of
lets stay together you and me boy
t h e r e s no one lyk u a r o u n d *

^^^^ all Tamia

___________________________________________

Posted at 10:54 pm by withxyou
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lalalaa

heyy .. things r good now .. im gettin along with my family & stuff .. im soo sick right now thoughh :-/ .. i have a really bad cough , stuffy nose, sore throat, & I DONT HAVE A VOICEEE .. when i talk i sound like a robot hahah .. joann is a weeple mann haha lu babe .. im so mad at myselff i forgot my frog slippers at samsss =o.. nd i cant get them bc sam is grounded for like life .. haha my poor sammii lol ..

this weekend im prob gunna hang with pplll .. i need to bc bein sick has kept me inside for the past few days and I CANT TAKE ITTT I NEED TO GET OUT lol .. well ill write more tomorrowww �3 lylll

i think your truly something special

just what my dreams are really made of �3

i LoVe yOu!! =d

livv cant wait till florida in aprill =d wOoH

Posted at 12:03 am by withxyou
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Jan 20, 2004

* me * me * me *

stealin this from dee lol.. - - >

[DESCRIBE YOUR]
[Wallet]: denim with sparkles =d
[Jewelry worn daily]: earrings.. my favorite heart necklace & sometimes bracelets
[Pillow cover]: it's purple to match my comforter
[Shoes]: umm wich 1s? lol
[Favorite top]: i love wearin turtleneck sweaterss or else my bebe shirts lol
[Favorite pants]: all my jeans
[Cologne/Perfume]: Abercrombie
[CD in stereo right now]: Stripped - christina aguilera
[Piercings]: my ears.. mite get belly button done.. dk if i want to lol
[Hair]: Brown with blonde highlights [ some natural ,some not ]
[What you are wearing now]: jeans and sweatshirt
[In my mouth]: sore-throat lollipop.. lol.. im sick
[In my head]: �3 him �3
[Wishing]: i could kno wut he felt
[After this]: gonna watch t.v.
[Talking to]: dee , dan , joann, & matt
[Something you're looking forward to in the upcoming months]: florida in aprill =d
[The last thing you ate?]: soup
[favorite movie]: The Ring
[Something that you are deathly afraid of?]: deep waterr.. & ppl throwing up haha
[Do you like incense]: yeah cinnamons the bestt
[Do you believe in love]: uh huh
[Do you believe in love at first sight] yeah because its happened to me
[Do you believe in forgiveness]: sometimes .. depends wut they did
[If you could have any animal for a pet]: anything but my annoying dog
[What are 3 cities you wouldn't mind relocating to] IM MOVING TO NEW YORK CITY WHEN IM OLDERRR.. hollywood & san fransisco r cool too
[What are some of your favorite pig out foods?]: coookiess & chipss nd dip
[What's something you wish you could understand better?]: guys that r players

[In the last 24 hours, have you]
01. Cried: yea
02. Bought something: yep
03. Gotten sick: yep
04. Sang: yeah
05. Eaten: yep
06. Been kissed: been sick :-x
07. Felt stupid: im always stupid
08. Wanted to tell someone you loved them, but didn't: yeah
09. Met someone new: umm i dont think so
10. Moved on: no
11. Talked to an ex: yup
12. Missed an ex: ummm
13. Talked to someone you have a crush on: yup =d hes hot
14. Had a serious talk: uh huh
15. Missed someone: yes
16. Hugged someone: yup yupp yupp
17. Fought with your parents: yeah
18. Dreamed about someone you can't be with: nahh

[Social Life]
01. Best girl friend: joann
02. Helps you with all your problems (guy): dan
03. boyfriend/girlfriend you've had: cant sey his name
04. your current boyfriend/girlfriend: i jus wnna be single for a wile.. altho i think i lyk sum1..
05. Pager: nope cellllll
06. Are you center of attention or the wallflower: lol im rlly talkative alot so sumtimes center of attention
07. What type automobile do you wish you drove: red lamberghini diablo!
08. Would you rather be with friends or on a date: no.. guy
09. Where is the best hangout: sum1s house
10. Do you have a job: nope nopee
11. Do you attend church: nah onli wen i have to
12. Do you like being around people: some ppl..

[Who]
01. Have you known the longest: livv!
02. Do you argue the most with: danielle
03. Do you always get along with: niamh
04. Is the trustworthiest: kristen C .. niamh .. danielle
05. Makes you laugh the most: joann i �3 her
06. Has been there through all the hard times: dan.. niamh
07. Has the coolest parents: lol all parents are annoying
08. Have the coolest siblings: hmm i dont knoww
09. Is the most blunt: whats blunt ?
10. Is the smartest: uhhh.. i dont kno if ny of them are haha

[Personal]
01. Who is your role model: jessica simpson
02. What are some of your pet peeves: gross ppl .. annoying ppl .. players!
03. Have you ever liked someone you had no chance with: nah rlly
04. Have you ever cried over the opposite sex: uh huhh
05. Do you have a "type" of person you always go after: lol not really i like alot of differnet ppl
06. Have you ever lied to your best friend(s): yeah.. but a white lie
07. Ever wanted to get revenge on someone because they hurt you: yeah
08. Rather be the dumper or the dumped: i dont like either
09. Rather have a relationship or a "hookup": relationship deff
10. Want someone you don't have right now: nahh
11. Ever liked your best guy/girl friend: yup
12. Do you want to get married: yeah
13. Do you want kids: i dk .. little kids annoy me sumtimes
14. Do you believe in psychics: no
15. Do you believe you know the person whom you will marry at this point in time: nah..
16. What is your favorite part of your physical appearance: eyes.. & smile
17. What is your favorite part of your emotional being: ehh im too sensitive
18. Are you happy with you: no
19. Are you happy with your life: ha ya right
20. If you could change something in your life right now, what would it be: everythingg..

. . . W H I C H O N E . . .
1) pierce your nose or tongue? nose
2) be serious or be funny? im both .. it depends on how im feeling
3) drink whole or skim milk? skim milk

. . A R E Y O U . . .
4) simple or complicated? complicated

. . . D O Y O U P R E F E R . . .
5) flowers or candy? flowers
6) grey or gray? grey
7) colOr or black-and-white phOtOs? black & white
8) lust or lOve? love
9) sunrise or sunset? sunset
10) m&ms or skittles? m&m
11) rap or punk rOck? punk.. as long as its not too loud lol
12) staying up late or waking up early? staying up late
13) tv or radiO? i like both
14) wateR or sOda? water
15) eating apples or oRanges? apples

. . . A N S W E R T R U T H F U L L Y . . .
16) dO yOu have a crush? yeah
17) whO is it? =)

. . . D O Y O U P R E F E R . . .
18) being hOt or cOld? hot so i can get a tannn =d
20) sun or mOon? sun
21) taller or shorter bf/gf? taller or same size
22) having 10 acquaintances or 1 best friend? 1 best friend
23) sun or rain? sun
24) vanilla ice cream or chOcOlate ice cream? chocolate
25) bOys or girls? bOys .. grls r cattyyy lol
26) green beans or carrOts? green beans

. . . M I S C E L L A N E O U S . . .
28) what is yOur biggest feaR in the wOrld? deep water.. bein on my own .. death
30) cat or dOg? dog
31) half empty or half full? half empty
32) mustard or ketchup? ketchup
33) hard cOver bOoks or sOft cOver bOoks? i dont like books nemore
34) newspaper or maGazine? magazine
35) sandals or sneakers? sneakers
36) wOnder or amazement? amazement
37) red car or white car? red
38) happy and pOor or sad and rich? sad and rich
39) singing or dancing? both are funn
40) hugging or kissing?: both of themm at the same timeee :-*
41) cOrdurOy or plain? huhh*plain
42) happy or sad? rite now im kinda sad ..
43) purple or green? purpleee
44) blOndes, brunettes? brunettes have the most funn =d

. . . T E L L U S A B O U T Y O U . . .
45) what time is it? 10:44 pm
46) full name? Lauren Ashley Hailey Sweeney
47) nicknames: laur
48) names and ages of siblings? Ryan - 15 Sean - 23
49) number of candles that appeared on yOur last birthday cake? 13
51) date that yOu regularly blOw them out? November 20 << best day of the yearr
52) pets? bloodhound .. named bubba.. i hate him
53) height? 5'5
54) eye cOlOr? brownish
55) hair cOlOr? brown...
56) piercing[s]? my ears

Posted at 10:46 pm by withxyou
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Jan 8, 2004

walk away *

oOh i'm feeLinG unDerapPreciAtEd *

heyy ... i jus got bac from skool... goin to livs game tonite with joannn meb robin & idk who elsee... heeh... ill write lata 2n cuz i gotta do my hw haha ... LYL XO

jus when i thought i was over u

i see u standing in the light
and we made eye contact
& i think for that 1 second ...
we both had flashbacks of how it once was
how happy we both were -
but then that 1 second was up..
& we relized that it was over .. & its jus not ment to be
even tho... my heart is still in pain from you
* ill never get over you *

how could u do this to a girl who loved u ?
no1 will ever make me feel so amazing & beautiful..

you were the candle to my darkness
the stars to my sky
the beauty to my life ...
you were the only one who could make my heart
beat faster & slower... at the same time
thinking of all our memories... what bothers me the most
is when you said you "loved" me... you didnt mean it
you obviously dont kno wut love is...
love to me is a never ending feeling....
saying " i love you " is like a poison...
once you say it to a person... they are under a spell
dam, i said i wouldnt fall in love with u ...
but being with you & every fone call
changed me... bc dam did i fall :-(
i wanna be my old self
because i dont remember life without you
i geuss your just my past... a photo gathering dust in my draw...
i hafta get over you... i jus hafto...
bc this pain im in... i cant last with
ill simply collapse -
so here i go ... my last and final attempt to get over you ...
wish me luck... bc this time...
its gonna work. i promise that *
~> dedicated to the biggest player / jerk / assholee / in the world...

Posted at 04:29 pm by withxyou
Comments (1)

Jan 7, 2004

Still ..

i deleted all the other entries in my journal... i'm starting over... anyway... things havent been too good recently.. we broke up for real.. & ugh jus IM me & ill tell you all the info bout it cuz i dont wanna post itt.. neways.. been thinkin recently.. i think its mayb fate this happened.. mayb we needed to brake up.. bc i kinda wanna move on with my life.. bc its been a really long time since I was single.. & idk its confusing... lol... well anyway i'll write tomorrow <3 xoxo

i stiLL got love foR yoU ..
after all we've beEn thrU ..
i gaV my heaRt to yoU
& baByY youRe the onLy onE foR mEe
thEre'sS otheR meN thaN yoU ..
they canT comE cLoSe to yoU
onCe i sEd i LoVe yoU
i knEw yoU'd bE thE onLy 1

Here's a promise -
no more tears will leave these tired eyes

no more cryin over u every night of my life
im gonna live my life .. like i never met you
because i miss the old me..

so im sayin goodbye to the new me ... & hello to the old
i geuss it was only a matter of time before i realized
what the piece of my puzzle missing...
no it wasnt you .. it was me *

i wanna burn every note uve ever given me...
break your bracelet you bought me...
but even doin that
will never compare to the hurt youve caused me

Posted at 11:43 pm by withxyou
Comments (1)